Life is catching up with me..slowly and I am on my way back to focusing on the things I love...like writing this blog. This year I am shifting my focus to tell you about two things: my ashtanga practice and my gluten free food quests. I hope the plan will work....fingers crossed.
Today I will simply start by saying I am working to find a balance. My mother used to tell me that I am good at so many things...that it will be difficult to choose. Mastery. Mastery of one item where we focus, and focus, and focus again. This is what ashtanga yoga takes and until a few weeks ago I realized that I was hiding from the commitment. One of the instructors at my studio said:
WHY--WHY are you coming to this class????????? You know what you are suppose to be doing.
Feeling sheepish-I said yes.
You are never going to move, shift, and develop your own practice until you make the commitment.
The "commitment" is Mysore. Mysore is morning practice. Starts at 6am. Ends at 8am. My practice is small so it takes me about 1 1/4 hr. I love Mysore. I hate getting out of bed at 5am. the studio is 35 minutes from my house. I have a dog. I have a job. I have a life.
And this is what George Leonard writes so beautifully about in his book title "Mastery". The commitment that Mastery takes and the process you have to endure along the way. Endure is the wrong word....lets use enjoy as Leonard would like us to...
This book is getting its point across in a lot of ways. I hear people talking about what they want to accomplish instead of where the journey will take them. People quit when they can't win the 12 triathlons they compete in during a summer. People ditch school / marriage / cars/ old pets / boyfriends / hell even their kids!
I am working on enduring the path--enjoying the path--and recording the small, small, small changes it brings me each day.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Time to say Goodbye
Its over. I gave my notice after 7.5 years at the same company yesterday and today it is settling. In strange ways. I feel happy, more energetic, less stressed. I feel crazed, freaked out, worried about the dog, the travel, the difference that this new life will bring me.
Change. We all need it to stay sharp, focused, and bright. I have thought a lot over the past 5 months about how much the workplace has changed. People I have interviewed with wonder why I have stayed so long. They have challenged me to see beyond my "myopic views." And they have made me realize, slowly that sometimes staying and fighting it out is not the right thing to do.
This process has been long. Six long months of playing with a lot of big guys and realizing that all of them had to offer me the exact same thing that I already have...so where to go instead?
I found myself talking to an old friend over coffee and finding my answer. His new company, a two year old start-up has offered me a sales position. Sales. New, different but perhaps its a better match than I could concoct. I reviewed my list of things I wanted last night:
Change. We all need it to stay sharp, focused, and bright. I have thought a lot over the past 5 months about how much the workplace has changed. People I have interviewed with wonder why I have stayed so long. They have challenged me to see beyond my "myopic views." And they have made me realize, slowly that sometimes staying and fighting it out is not the right thing to do.
This process has been long. Six long months of playing with a lot of big guys and realizing that all of them had to offer me the exact same thing that I already have...so where to go instead?
I found myself talking to an old friend over coffee and finding my answer. His new company, a two year old start-up has offered me a sales position. Sales. New, different but perhaps its a better match than I could concoct. I reviewed my list of things I wanted last night:
- Job where I talk to people.
- Job where I am not in an office all day long behind a computer.
- Job where I can work with India.
- Job where I can help people solve their problems, but don't have to stick around for all of the details.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Priceless: Friends
A friend came this weekend. Someone who has known my heart for years and accepted me when I was much dumber.
Exciting visions of the weekend played in my head and landed us in front of a group of three live actors at the Studio Theater in DC. Drama, murder, intrigue the critics explained. They failed to mention one small item: the victim was a child and the offender liked kids in a way we don't like to think about.
Frozen is the reason you go to the theater. Trapped in your seat, wondering how to react, exciting? or is this a cheap thrill? How is this man two steps to the left when he no longer has to wear the mask of a pedaphile? Andrew Long was amazing...and his grace allowed me to deal with the intense discomfort of my chosen outing for my dear friend who has four children.
Mr. Long took us down a trail of tears. We wanted to forgive him, hate him, and just marvel at his capability to look like such a freak. My mind churned and I eagerly awaited the intermission where I would spend my built up forgiveness in the real world.
Michelle's thoughts were so close to mine-I like it but don't know if I should? Should-Would? Why? Lots of running emotions as we gushed during our coke break.
Friends. Priceless. They stay in your camp even when they are tending to small fires elsewhere in their lives. Core feelings and beliefs remain, making common thoughts abound. The single girl and mother of four did have much to laugh about--at least we think we were suppose to laugh. Or was it cry?
Thank you Mr. Long. The Shakespeare Theater has Frozen a gem inside Sonnets for too long.
Exciting visions of the weekend played in my head and landed us in front of a group of three live actors at the Studio Theater in DC. Drama, murder, intrigue the critics explained. They failed to mention one small item: the victim was a child and the offender liked kids in a way we don't like to think about.
Frozen is the reason you go to the theater. Trapped in your seat, wondering how to react, exciting? or is this a cheap thrill? How is this man two steps to the left when he no longer has to wear the mask of a pedaphile? Andrew Long was amazing...and his grace allowed me to deal with the intense discomfort of my chosen outing for my dear friend who has four children.
Mr. Long took us down a trail of tears. We wanted to forgive him, hate him, and just marvel at his capability to look like such a freak. My mind churned and I eagerly awaited the intermission where I would spend my built up forgiveness in the real world.
Michelle's thoughts were so close to mine-I like it but don't know if I should? Should-Would? Why? Lots of running emotions as we gushed during our coke break.
Friends. Priceless. They stay in your camp even when they are tending to small fires elsewhere in their lives. Core feelings and beliefs remain, making common thoughts abound. The single girl and mother of four did have much to laugh about--at least we think we were suppose to laugh. Or was it cry?
Thank you Mr. Long. The Shakespeare Theater has Frozen a gem inside Sonnets for too long.
Friday, May 19, 2006
2 months in...Acceptance is approaching..
"Practice and all is coming" - Sri K. Pattabhi Jois
When can you classify yourself as a Yogi? It feels like the time has arrived.
Over 60 days have past since my formal introduction to yogi in Mexico, courtesy of my dear friend Kim. When I left Mexico I felt amazing and was inspired to bring this newly constructed aura into my every day life. What a difference hitting the matt every morning has made.
I am physically stronger. Neck pains are gone. Hamstring are stretched....at least they are getting stretched. I am not in dying pain when I leave work after a day of "desking".
But all of these things are so subtle when the mental and spiritual side is reviewed. I feel my feet on the floor. It was amazing to be in the kitchen, focusing on a recipe and suddenly be awakened to the feeling of the souls of my feet on the floor. I take deep breaths when I find myself enjoying something .... or hating it so I can breath it in. People seem like open books to me-I feel as if we can immediately get on or their angst/regret/anger/ or other bad vibe is revealed.
Every day I hit my mat and see where it takes me....lately things have been hard. My body is not happy and everyone is trying to figure out why. As I move through the asanas I feel the changes, both good and bad, and realize I am right where I am suppose to be. Here. Now. Driving down the road that is my life.
Yesterday for the first time I found myself able to perform the pada hastasana. In this pose, you place your hands under your feet and straighten your legs. I felt like a full circle as my hamstrings finally released for a moment and allowed me to take the plunge into straightness met by curves.
Tomorrow this pose may continue to elude me and thats ok. Sounds like a yogi to me..Namaste.
When can you classify yourself as a Yogi? It feels like the time has arrived.
Over 60 days have past since my formal introduction to yogi in Mexico, courtesy of my dear friend Kim. When I left Mexico I felt amazing and was inspired to bring this newly constructed aura into my every day life. What a difference hitting the matt every morning has made.
I am physically stronger. Neck pains are gone. Hamstring are stretched....at least they are getting stretched. I am not in dying pain when I leave work after a day of "desking".
But all of these things are so subtle when the mental and spiritual side is reviewed. I feel my feet on the floor. It was amazing to be in the kitchen, focusing on a recipe and suddenly be awakened to the feeling of the souls of my feet on the floor. I take deep breaths when I find myself enjoying something .... or hating it so I can breath it in. People seem like open books to me-I feel as if we can immediately get on or their angst/regret/anger/ or other bad vibe is revealed.
Every day I hit my mat and see where it takes me....lately things have been hard. My body is not happy and everyone is trying to figure out why. As I move through the asanas I feel the changes, both good and bad, and realize I am right where I am suppose to be. Here. Now. Driving down the road that is my life.
Yesterday for the first time I found myself able to perform the pada hastasana. In this pose, you place your hands under your feet and straighten your legs. I felt like a full circle as my hamstrings finally released for a moment and allowed me to take the plunge into straightness met by curves.
Tomorrow this pose may continue to elude me and thats ok. Sounds like a yogi to me..Namaste.
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