Monday, January 07, 2008

If someone said...

write a sentence about your life what would you write?

I am thinking about this a lot today as I sit here with a world of options in my palm. What would one say about my life so far? And really more importantly, what would I say? Would I say I have made good choices? Sure. Made Safe choices. Yes. Made choices that seemed like they would be the most FUN? Not so sure.

So. This is the question my mother poised to me this evening when I asked her about choosing between moving to San Fran or New York. (job interviews, possibilties will be broadcasted if they become real) Which one works? Which one is the best opportunity? Which one is......more fun?

One of the biggest struggles this year is facing my life in DC. And realizing it is not working. I am tired of being here. My new places is beautiful. I love the people that live in my building. BUT. I am tired of making friends that leave. Of feeling like everyone I meet is strange (men) or just plain boring (women and the men too. Ok. Maybe the women are also strange.). Point being when do you say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?

I have been approached by a company to work in NYC and have struggled with this idea for the past two weeks. Agonized over what this means for me from a detailed and high level perspective. And really thought about what I want which is to be surrounded by a community of people that are like me. Are those people in NY? I am not sure. And then I thought again about how I have always wanted to live in San Fran. Sometimes I think I bring decisions to my own door. Today during one of my interviews they let me know that a post in San Fran is also available. Would I rather have that job?

At the end of the day it doesn't matter if I get the job or not. Its all about choosing. Instead of going along with things. What is right for me RIGHT now? One of the biggest things I compalin about is being on the road all the time. NYC--no road. My backyard will be my patch. No need to travel to KY for the afternoon. Or Arkansas. And then I think about all of my dear friends in San Fran and the wonderful city and the weather and the bay. But I will travel. All the time. All over the West. Will that really solve my problem--which for those of you just getting up to speed is: I need to develop a world around me in my new home. Very hard to do when you are never home.

I am thinking and trying to find the answers. I want to be able to write my sentence and be happy about my answer.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

New York, New York, New York, New York...