Time to say Goodbye

Its over. I gave my notice after 7.5 years at the same company yesterday and today it is settling. In strange ways. I feel happy, more energetic, less stressed. I feel crazed, freaked out, worried about the dog, the travel, the difference that this new life will bring me.

Change. We all need it to stay sharp, focused, and bright. I have thought a lot over the past 5 months about how much the workplace has changed. People I have interviewed with wonder why I have stayed so long. They have challenged me to see beyond my "myopic views." And they have made me realize, slowly that sometimes staying and fighting it out is not the right thing to do.

This process has been long. Six long months of playing with a lot of big guys and realizing that all of them had to offer me the exact same thing that I already have...so where to go instead?

I found myself talking to an old friend over coffee and finding my answer. His new company, a two year old start-up has offered me a sales position. Sales. New, different but perhaps its a better match than I could concoct. I reviewed my list of things I wanted last night:

1. Job where I talk to people.
2. Job where I am not in an office all day long behind a computer.
3. Job where I can work with India.
4. Job where I can help people solve their problems, but don't have to stick around for all of the details.

I got everything accept for number 3. India will wait.

Priceless: Friends

A friend came this weekend. Someone who has known my heart for years and accepted me when I was much dumber.

Exciting visions of the weekend played in my head and landed us in front of a group of three live actors at the Studio Theater in DC. Drama, murder, intrigue the critics explained. They failed to mention one small item: the victim was a child and the offender liked kids in a way we don't like to think about.

Frozen is the reason you go to the theater. Trapped in your seat, wondering how to react, exciting? or is this a cheap thrill? How is this man two steps to the left when he no longer has to wear the mask of a pedaphile? Andrew Long was amazing...and his grace allowed me to deal with the intense discomfort of my chosen outing for my dear friend who has four children.

Mr. Long took us down a trail of tears. We wanted to forgive him, hate him, and just marvel at his capability to look like such a freak. My mind churned and I eagerly awaited the intermission where I would spend my built up forgiveness in the real world.

Michelle's thoughts were so close to mine-I like it but don't know if I should? Should-Would? Why? Lots of running emotions as we gushed during our coke break.

Friends. Priceless. They stay in your camp even when they are tending to small fires elsewhere in their lives. Core feelings and beliefs remain, making common thoughts abound. The single girl and mother of four did have much to laugh about--at least we think we were suppose to laugh. Or was it cry?

Thank you Mr. Long. The Shakespeare Theater has Frozen a gem inside Sonnets for too long.

2 months in...Acceptance is approaching..

"Practice and all is coming" - Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

When can you classify yourself as a Yogi? It feels like the time has arrived.

Over 60 days have past since my formal introduction to yogi in Mexico, courtesy of my dear friend Kim. When I left Mexico I felt amazing and was inspired to bring this newly constructed aura into my every day life. What a difference hitting the matt every morning has made.

I am physically stronger. Neck pains are gone. Hamstring are stretched....at least they are getting stretched. I am not in dying pain when I leave work after a day of "desking".

But all of these things are so subtle when the mental and spiritual side is reviewed. I feel my feet on the floor. It was amazing to be in the kitchen, focusing on a recipe and suddenly be awakened to the feeling of the souls of my feet on the floor. I take deep breaths when I find myself enjoying something .... or hating it so I can breath it in. People seem like open books to me-I feel as if we can immediately get on or their angst/regret/anger/ or other bad vibe is revealed.

Every day I hit my mat and see where it takes me....lately things have been hard. My body is not happy and everyone is trying to figure out why. As I move through the asanas I feel the changes, both good and bad, and realize I am right where I am suppose to be. Here. Now. Driving down the road that is my life.

Yesterday for the first time I found myself able to perform the pada hastasana. In this pose, you place your hands under your feet and straighten your legs. I felt like a full circle as my hamstrings finally released for a moment and allowed me to take the plunge into straightness met by curves.

Tomorrow this pose may continue to elude me and thats ok. Sounds like a yogi to me..Namaste.

A poem for afternoon coffee....

Have to post this poem that made me smile today...

Recently GW was quoted as saying "I am the decider so I get to decide...."


I'm the decider.
I pick and I choose.
I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.
And as I decide
Each particular day
The things I decide on
All turn out that way.

I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that they have it,
I'm not looking back.

I decided on tax cuts
That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.

And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none
Would be more than enough!

I decided that schools
All in all are the best
The less that they teach
And more that they test.

I decided those wages
You need to get by
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.

I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.

I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They come unimpeded.

That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided
It's "just goddam paper"
It should be derided.

I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.

And Cheney and Rummy
And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.

I'm the Decider
So watch what you say
Or I may decide
To whisk you away.

Or I'll tap your phones.
Your e-mail I'll read.
`cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.

Yes, I'm the Decider
The finest alive
And I'm nuking Iran.
Now ... watch this drive!


Now that I think about it, Dr. Seuss anticipated this administration
pretty well when he wrote Yertle the Turtle...Roddy McCorley