Sunday, April 29, 2007

Expatriate? Not with this group...

Fantastically funny interview this past week with a company who really needed a full set of clues on how to send someone to India. I went in knowing that the position was of high interest, but with the mind that I was not willing to move unless the package was adequate. Wow. Was I overwhelmed with their arrogance and underwhelmed with their intelligence. Fascinating.

The interview began on the wrong note when the VP explained that "He REALLY needed an American to head over the and get some more work out of these people." Perfect. Like we are running a slave shop. I asked him about his progress, problems and offered my typical bag of India based cultural solutions. He didn't really seem interested in hearing what I had to say, just that he was looking for a salesperson who could get it done. I then offered my 2 cents on how this role should be projected to the outsourcer (in a way that conveys authority and independence). Which was obviously ignored....as when I asked about the package he informed me that:

1.) they would be providing me with funds for traveling to the different locations inside India (like yeah? um, who would not being doing that?) btw: he prefaced this statement with "well let me start off by telling you that we would be paying for"
2.) the outsourcer would be finding me housing. (ok, so I am envisioning having to argue with some middle management moron about what is acceptable and what is not rather than having an allowance)
3.) that he would be flying me home to work with the team in the US 4 times a year. (UGH, that is WAY to much. he obviously has never done that trek over and over and over again. Talk about eating up three weeks every two months.)

And thats it.

UMMMMM....my mind was flushed with a million things that he failed to mention like say a driver? insurance? dual-health care insurance? disability? repatriation insurance?

So I asked about the driver to which he responded that well I could pay for that myself. LOL.

At this point I was finished with the conversation so I asked if there were any more questions......the guy that was also part of the interview that reports to this VP says:

"what REALLY, REALLY scares you about this"

Like he is talking to Susie Smith from small town Kansas who has never left her neighborhood.

I dug in:

"Nothing about India scares me. I have been there during terrorist attacks in Dehli when they shut the city down. I have survived 4 feet of water in Bangalore. What I would need to have to take this type of position is the ability to act as an independent operator with the full support of my US based management. This would entail flexibility in understanding things are going to arise that you do not expect."

Like what he asks??

"For example, India operates on bribes. You have to grease the wheels if you need to get something done like turn on a phone in your apartment. "

LOL. They both sat there like a deer in a fast approaching car's headlights.

"Well, (VP) we would not be interested in being involved with something like that. If you needed to give someone a bribe....you would be on your own....."

Deep Breath. Laugh. Depart. Fully aware that there is a job out there that will take me to India but in no way shape or form is it this one....

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